Holy SH$%! My uterus is on fire!

Last night, I was in a peaceful slumber, when all of the sudden, I awoke to the most piercing pain in the world. Now, I had no idea what it was, except for the fact I had never experienced pain like this. It was sharp, and strong, like a hot knife cutting through my uterus. For those of you reading this, do not panic. I have done my homework and these are simply round ligament pains. I have had these for a while, but I guess pinhead is growing everyday. With this new added weight, my uterus is being stretched beyond its normal limits. It has dawned on me that this is only the beginning!!!!!

If these are just stupid ligament pains, what in the hell am I going to do when pinhead comes out of a hole meant for something smaller!!!???? Holy schnikes.. I try to look for some comfort on the pages of the internet baby sites, but in reality, they were much more unnerving. I kept reading about the Braxton Hicks Contractions and how they begin in the third trimester. Now here's my thing. If this is my first kid, and the websites keep saying you are just having "fake" contractions, how the heck do I even KNOW what a contraction feels like?? I mean really!!!!!!!!!! Other than menstrual cramps, there has been no real pain down by my gates of paradise. (in their defense, they were pretty intense cramps) And seriously, would someone just take a moment to write on these stupid websites what the heck these contractions feel like.??? They just mention something about timing them and how if they become more intense to go to the hospital. HELLO!!!! How about what they feel like.. there has to be some moms on retainer to explain what they feel like. Even something like "your vagina and uterus feel like its on fire" would be more help then what they write.

Anyway, all is well for now. I hope I don't panic anyone. Seriously, I just had to vent about how no one tells virgin pregnant women (he he I just think that's funny..) about what kind of aches, pains and spasms they are getting themselves into. I mean really.. I may just have to write a freaking book that doesn't mince words and tells pregger ladies exactly how it is.

Alrighty you all.. I am about to watch Ironman with Pete and Pinhead, who is now kicking my spleen. At least one of us is happy...