I'm not a breeder!

Slightly nervous..

2009-03-25T17:24:00.000-07:00

Ok, so we leave for my cousin Maria del Mar's wedding on next Wednesday, and surprisingly enough, it's not the flying that is worrying me. What is really starting to give me a case of the needaxanaxsees is whether or not my bridesmaid dress will fit. I am 95% sure it will, but I didn't try on the dress in my size that I ordered, and now, with a week before the wedding, I am starting to panic.

Also, I have no clue on what shoes to wear. Any suggestions? Or should I just buy some shoes when I get there? Use that time to go to Plaza and partake in retail therapy.

Another question... how should I wear my hair??? Curly and worry free or should I try to tame the Mufasa-ness of my hair and brave the freaking humidity with some serious hairspray and a blowout worthy of New Orleans type humidity? I always remember that Friends episode where Monica's hair eventually ended up looking like a Cathy comic strip.

I know this is an abnormal posting, but I am watching tv and am very not-focused. I hope to write something funny tomorrow. In the meantime, have a great night...

Point/Counterpoint!

2009-03-19T12:01:00.000-07:00

Hey there lovahs! Yours truly, Ms. Fierce, is back!!!!!!!!! It has been WAAAAYYYY too long to deprive my bbs of the musings and ponderings of a genius! Alas, nothing has sparked my literary fire until NOW! I have officially met my "twin" in NYC, care of my amazing friend Camille. Scary, isn't it??? There is another me out there.. except they are male. And gay. So other than those two minor differences, we are exactly the same.

Now, Andy, the love muffin he is, has started a blog. (It's fabu.. you MUST go read it! Link is on the right side) Now, his first blog ever is the TOP 10 REASONS WHY HE DOESN'T WANT A BABY!!! Other than the fact that he physically can't have a kid because he is missing lady parts/gates of paradise, he clearly does not want to breed. As a non-breeder myself (yes, I have a child, but does that make me one in my definition of said breeder? NO! Definition is above) I understand exactly what he means. I, too, was a fan of the Mommie Dearest method of parenting. (You all KNOW my fascination with that movie.. Poor Charlie) On his blog, he writes some very valid, VERY strong arguments as to why he doesn't want a child. I would like to counterargue his points with my own top ten.

10. A Whole new reason to shop.
Yes, you heard me right. (well, read me right, since this is a blog) I thought as a fashionista, I had all the reasons of shopping down to a science. I puckered my mouth in distaste when passing a children's store. What the hell would I find there other than vomit, horrid prints, even worse pastels and mom jeans??? Well, as with anything worth looking for, with some hard work, you can find some of the cutest stuff for a kid ever!!! Did you know Dior makes baby onsies? Burberry has polos! Gucci has baby carriers!!! Louis has a baby bag!!! Too often we are so desensitized by all the ugly stuff out there, that we forget there is HOPE! I am eventually getting a new diaper bag, and guess what, it will be fabulous. Who says it has to be matronly and ugly? Is that now synonymos with babies? Who the hell said so?? Oh yeah right, the ugly mommy brigade. Well this is one mom who says NO WAY.. With a kid, my shopping obsession has become doubled because of this little person. Granted, its not only for me, but if you love shopping as much as I do, you will take it whenever, however and in whatever form you can.

9. You have an easy out clause.
Let's say you were invited to some lame function (with even lamer cash bar) that you SERIOUSLY don't want to go to, but must. Ugh.. the sheer thought of idle conversation and forced laughter is enough to drive you over the edge. A person with no child could selfishly say, no, I don't want to go to "insert function name" because I don't want to. That's a good enough excuse, but, truthfully, you look and sound like a half brained spoiled twit. You could say you're sick, but honestly, how many times can you really use that and still sound credible? A death in the family? Yes, but you seriously pushing the karma button on that one. What is a non-child having person to do? I don't know about them, but I can use my kid as an excuse. Not only do I sound like a freaking Mother of the Year (oh.. Charlie has a low grade fever and I MUST be with him to make sure he's ok) but you get out of your obligation. Sure, non-breeders can still say no, but you will look like a schmuck (without a good excuse, at least) where as I will look like a Saint.

8. Work from Home Clause
Enough said. Unless you have puppies/dog, I don't think they will be as lax with non-breeders.

7. Cut in line/get a seat clause
I get to go in front of you at most things, like airports, trains, buses, etc. Yes, my kid is crying and annoying you, but I have a seat on the metro and you don't. Ha!

6. You can destroy someone's house that you don't like. (in seconds)
You know that annoying co-worker that threw you under the bus last year?? Take your kid to their house and let them spit up on their wool houndstooth rug. Let them try to spray and wash that carpet knowing they just blew $3000 for nothing! For even more mass destruction, give the kid grape juice. Shake a few times and enjoy!

5. Babies are the new wingman.
Oh, laugh and mock if you must, but strap a kid in a Baby Bjorn and see how much attention you get. (This is mostly for guys, but it can work in women's favor too) Seriously, my husband, Saint Pete, had Charlie strapped in and the women were FAWNING and GUSHING over themselves to get to him. Pete, of course, loved it. Some hottie at Gap was MACKING on the sales girl and she was eating it up. Granted, the venue will be different, but the results are just the same.

4. Tax Deduction.
So you want the new Louis Neverfull, but alas, your non-breeder salary doesn't allow for it, credit cards are maxed out and you are getting nothing back from the tax man. Boo-hoo.... Guess what.. that kid you don't like/aren't having.. just bought me mine. :-) God bless the U.S.A.

3. You actually have a reason for an S.U.V.
Well, a green/earth friendly one, anyway. Still no need for a freaking hummer. But honestly, what the hell does one person need with an GX for?? Well, other than loading a ton of shopping bags, and we BOTH know you don't make that kind of money.

2. Someone will take care of you.
Let's face it. We will get old. Yes, it's true. And no matter how fabulous we are now, fabulous does have to age. You can have the best plans laid out, but when you are pooping yourself in a depends, it will be nice to have someone repay the favor. (let's hope we don't get to that point, but hey, you never EVER know)

1. And the best reason EVER to have a Child....
They are a mini you. No more explanation needed!!!

Comments are welcome.. unless you are nasty and bitter, and have nothing constructive to say.

Update on CJ

2009-01-13T10:23:00.001-08:00

Alrighty people.. here is his info for now!

Weight: 8 pounds 6 oz
Lenth: 21 inches

Mom: exhausted but happy.
Dad: feeling broke but happy!

We will post pics soon!

It's been a while!

2009-01-07T13:33:00.000-08:00

Well hello there my loyal and loving fans... I am back and no longer PREGGERS! As you read in Pete's previous entries, (thank god for him or there would be no updates!) Charles Joseph Hackman entered our world on Decemeber 23rd at 9:34. He has been an absolute blessing, and surprisingly enough, not so annoying like I thought he would be the first couple of weeks.

We have definitely had our ups and downs, but so far everything is falling into place. Before we begin, I would like to take this time to write some observations while they are still fresh in my mind.. Here they are:

1. Room service in a hospital is a good thing. For those of you contemplating where to deliver, I highly suggest Mercy Fairfield. The hospital staff are amazing and honestly, I couldn't have asked for a better place to deliver. But seriously, the room service was the best feature. I loved the fact that I could have pretty much anything I wanted and it was simply a phone call away. Ladies, really.. when checking out hospitals, MAKE SURE they offer this service. You will thank me.

2. There is no need to have your nursery done prior to your babies arrival. In fact, the people that say it needs to be done should be shot. Charlie has not spent ONE night in his room! I am not saying it is a lot easier to get it done before hand but don't finish it because you think he or she will be spending tons of time in it. They won't!! Charlie has spent most of his time in two areas. One: his bouncy chair in the living room. (I will give you more on that in a few) and his pack and play in our room. Thats it. The only thing I recommend having finished in his room are the paint job and the closet and maybe the changing table. Now, don't get me wrong... I am not saying leave eveyrthing for you to do when your kid is six months old, but don't have a coronary if the room is not done prior to delivery.

3. A pack and play and the Bright Starts By your side bouncer are worth their weight in gold. I understand that everyone's needs will be different, but with out these items, we would be SOL. We particularly love the by your side seat. I love how it has a "catch all" under the seat for important items like pampers and extra clothes. Without it, we would be running up and down the stairs a million times a day. Oh, and make sure to get the 3 in 1 Gentle Vibrations thingy for bedtime. NOthing makes you feel better than seeing your newborn hit the mattress and be out in a second because of the soothing heartbeat sound and vibrating sensation. Ahhhh... peace!

4. Swaddle me's. Really. The best thing to keep your kid warm and happy and mommy sane. For those of you wondering what to get for a shower gift for first time mom's, these are very inexpensive and great.

5. Newborn/preemie sized clothing. I know I know... they grow out of them so fast, but at least have two-four outfits that FIT when they get here. NOthing really fit Charlie those first few days and I had to go out and buy new outfits so he would not suffocate from the extra fabric when it was bedtime.

6. Anything Mustela. Sorry P&G, but this brand of cleansing items have kept Charlie clean, without major skin issues and so far, no diaper rash. It makes him smell like a yummy baby and doesn't dry his skin out. The one drawback.. its PRICEY. You can find it at Babies R Us or C.O. Bigelow. I particularly like the cold cream for dry skin and cold weather and the diaper wipes.

7. Baby Gap. This has served me well as Charlie's main source of ridiculously cute outfits.

8. Pacifiers. Of any kind. Screw the expert advice and how it will cause damage to your kid, etc etc. If you don't use it, severe brain and sanity damage will be done to you and your partner. We would be in a mental hospital with out it.

9. Nursing bras. I thought they were hideous and ugly, but yes, the contraptions are actually useful. Ugh.. chalk one up for practical over pretty.

10. Lanolin and LOTS of it. For those of you breast feeding or even TRYING to do it, stock up on this stuff. And SLATHER it on.. trust me on this one. Your nips will thank you and me for it.

Ok.. my head hurts and Charlie needs his bottle and I need to deflate my gozongas. I hope this entry finds everyone healthy and happy and as blessed as Pete and I are. Lots of love!!

Charles Joseph Hackman is here!

2008-12-23T21:33:00.000-08:00

It is Pete again, to announce that Charles Joseph Hackman entered the world at 9:34 am on Tuesday, December 23rd! He weighed 7 lbs 14 oz, and is 21 inches long!

What a day this has been... I posted my last post at around 1:30 am and was downright grumpy and tired. Needless to say, I didn't sleep a whole lot that night... Anyway, I will do my best to accurately describe the events of the day...

I slept until around 4 am and then I woke up for some reason... I can't remember if someone had come in to check on Marie or not but it is honestly all a blur at this point. I want to say that the night nurse had come in to check on Marie to see how things were. From what I recall, the night nurse was checking her dilation as it looked like she was progressing to the point that they might want her to start pushing.

At 7 am, the shift change took place and the new nurse just took charge and had Marie start pushing heavily. The baby was in the +1 position, which meant that his head had gotten to a point that it was starting to pass the pelvic bone. So from 7 to about 8:30, they had Marie really start pushing and there were a few points when you could see the tip of his head. They got him to the point that they wanted to call the doctor, and found out that the doctor was in with another patient delivering via c-section and would be a while!

So the nurse immediately had Marie stop pushing and even though the baby was starting to show, he was okay and his heartbeat was strong. They took her off the Pitocin to slow down the contractions. Since they knew that the doctor would be a while, they told Marie to rest for the next half hour or so, conserving her energy... We all took a quick nap and then around 9 am, the doctor came in and siad that she was ready to have Marie push again.

So, she started pushing pretty hard at that point and after a few hard pushes, Charles Joseph Hackman was born! It was so surreal... I was watching with my camera at the ready, hoping to snap a picture of Charlie's first minutes... Then all of a sudden, out popped this little head, all wrinkled and ugly and blue! Then the doctor starting yanking on the poor baby's neck and I could have sworn that she was going to break the poor little fellow's neck, trying to pull the rest of his little body out of that tiny hole! Anyway, after a few tugs, he came out and started turning even more blue than before... Then came the most beautiful, and yet pathetic little cry as he started to cry... I was so in awe that I completely forgot to take a picture of him coming out!

They then proceeded to wipe him off, rubbing his back and coaxing him to get all of the crud out of his lungs... He cried for about a minute and then they put him on Marie's chest. She had done so great... It was really just amazing... Simply amazing... There is no other word for it!

So they tended to fixing up Marie, and as they did that, they took Charlie over to the warmer (or the Chicken Fryer, as Marie called it). I went over to check him out and he was just the most chill baby! He just sat there looking at me and I looking at him and it was just so surreal... I could not beleive that this little thing was the by-product of Marie and I!

Anyway, at that point, it is once again a blur as everyone was rushing in and out of the room... There were dozens of calls and text messages that were sent out over that next hour. I am sure that there are tons of people that I forgot to tell.

So around noon or so, Mom and Dad Bonaccorse headed down to the cafeteria to get some lunch and give the newly expanded Hackman family some time to bond. We ordered some food from the cafeteria and then just sat in awe. After lunch, Mom and Dad went back to the house to get some rest. I stayed with Marie and we both finally just zonked out. We slept at least a good three hours or so.

Anyway, it is almost a full 24 hours since the last post and I am rather tired... Marie and Charlie are doing great. They expect us to be able to come back home either late on Christmas Eve or early Christmas day! That is all I can type for now... Maybe if we aren't completely wiped, we will give more details... Or maybe Marie will give her point of view...

Regardless, my life will NEVER be the same and I am looking forward to getting CJ home. I don't think, that you could ask for a better Christmas present!

Marie's pre-labor saga

2008-12-22T20:56:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone! This is Pete... I apologize that it has been almost two months since the last post... Marie has been a bad blogger!

Anyway, I just wanted to give everyone a quick update on how Marie is doing... On Saturday evening, Marie was not feeling well, and was vomiting just about every hour or so from around 11 pm to around 7 am on Sunday morning. Because of all of the vomiting, Marie was feeling a bit dehydrated, which made her Braxton Hicks contractions a little stronger than usual... However, there was no regularity to them and even though they seemed to sometimes increase in severity, they also waned quite a bit as well. So on Sunday morning, Marie called the doctor and they said to come to the hospital to make sure that everything was okay.

So Marie, her mother, and I packed up all of our stuff and headed off to the hospital around 7:30 am on Sunday morning. They put her on an IV to rehydrate her and checked her dilation. Marie was still at around 2 cm, but they took some blood and urine samples and let her get a little sleep. Around 1:30 pm, they came back saying that they were a little concerned about her blood pressure and the potential for preclampsia (pregnancy induced high blood pressure, which leads to birth complications). So they basically said that they needed to monitor her urine for a full 24 hours, and that she had a choice of going home and staying on bedrest, collecting her urine, or she could stay at the hospital and they could do it. She decided to stay overnight at the hospital.

In the meantime, Marie's father was flying in to the Dayton airport at around 4:00 pm, so I went up to the airport to pick him up. After picking him up, we came back to the hospital to see how Marie was doing. She was in good spirits and just wanted the baby out. Dad and I went back home and got a good rest... I went to bed at around 9:30 pm and let me tell you that it was one of the most restful sleeps that I have had in some time!

Anyway, I went to work Monday morning and was so busy that I didn't get a chance to talk to her until around 11 am or so. When I talked to her, she said that they were going to induce her! Well, let me tell you, I was like "Don't you DARE have that baby without me!" She assured me that she would not, and that I had plenty of time to finish up work. So I left work around 1:30 pm and headed to the hospital.

So I got to the hospital and Marie was doing well. They had started her on an IV drip of Pitocin, which is a chemical that induces labor and contractions. Her contractions were getting slightly more intense, but not unbearable. They checked her dilation and after 6 hours of Pitocin, she had only dilated up to 3 cm. So around 9:00 pm, they decided to manually break her water.

After her water broke, the contractions started getting a bit more intense, so around 11:00 pm, she decided that the pain was enough that she wanted to get an epidoral. She did great with getting the epidoral and afterward was feeling no pain.

At this point, there is not a lot to report except that I am tired and getting a little cranky. She is lying in bed and says her legs feel like heavy marshmallows. Mom is sitting to my right, sleeping in the fold out bed-chair and Dad is to my left stretching out between two chairs. I am sitting in a rocking chair, putting my feet up on a footstool, and am starting to get a little grumpy and wish that I had a bed to lay out on. Other than that, there is no news to report... I am really hoping that Charlie comes soon. I will try to keep you all posted as much as I can!

It's been a while!

2008-11-09T08:57:00.000-08:00

Morning everyone! I am so sorry that we haven't written in a while, but the last two weeks have been busy, to say the LEAST! Pete and I travelled to Florida last week for a much needed break and to participate in my brother's amazing wedding. Although it was a very intimate and small wedding, it totally fitted John and Christina's personalities to a "t". I was super proud of him, and I couldn't be happier having Christina in our family. I always knew she would make a great sister, and she is such a wonderful addition to our family!

The rest of our time in Florida was spent hanging out with my family, which is super important to me. My grandmother is closing in on 90, and I am very aware that she won't be here forever, so this time spent with her was even more precious to me. Having also spent time with both my aunts and cousins (Des and Eddie) was wonderful as well. I miss them tons already, but know I will see them soon.

For those of you that have seen the update on facebook, I will now fill you in on our very eventful Sunday evening/ Monday. Sunday was spent shopping with Pete and Desiree at one of the 7 billion outlet malls in central Florida. We had a great time and did manage to find some awesome deals. (hellooo.. La Perla undies for 5 bucks a piece.. yeah.. thats right.. wohoo!) After our pilgrimage, we stopped at a Checkers (YUM) and came back to the hotel.

Later that evening, I wasn't feeling so hot. We had made plans to meet with John, Chris and other good friends at a German restaurant. Now, mind you, I have been looking forward to this outing for WEEKS, if not months, since it has been a while since I had a decent schnitzel. (and get your minds out of the gutter.. its not THAT kind of wiener, you pervs)

The entire ride to Sanford was spent breathing and slowly realizing the horror that I wasn't feeling so hot and, dare I say it, NAUSEOUS. I already can't drink my beloved German beer, but to not feel like eating my Jager Schnitzel was just agonizing. We finally arrive at the restaurant and BOOM. I have to puke. And not just once, but about four times. The evening was spent looking longingly at Pete's yummy dish and my absolute sheer determination to not throw up again.

Finally, I broke down and had to excuse myself from the group. By this point, I was pretty miserable and no longer wanted to smell any German food for the rest of my life. We called my amazing cousin Maria del Mar and asked for her advice on what I could take. We stopped at a local walgreens and went on our way. Pete, being the very proactive husband he is, thought to take a few extra bags just in case I didn't make it to John's house.

So there was are.. trucking along, when all of the sudden, Pete goes UH OH and grabs the bags and starts spewing like he was in the exorcist movie. Seriously people, not to be graphic, but this kid threw up like a champ! Thank god he double bagged it. Needless to say, he has forever ruined Jagerschnitzel for me, and I will never ever look at beer the same.

We finally reach John's house and Pete and I are both in dire straights. We stick around and wait for John, Chris and Wolfram to come home. Low and behold, John is now sick and heaving his brains out. I kid you not people, it was like a scene out of the movie Outbreak. We couldn't believe it. At this point, the story gets repetitive, so I will give you the Cliffs notes version.

We get to the hotel, Pete and I continue violent puking and now pooping cycle Dad now joins in the festivities. Get a call from Chris that Wolfram didn't want to be left out and now he joins the inner sanctum of pukies. Call Desiree.. she is sick too.... AHHHHH!!!

The morning finally comes and I am too weak to do anything and quite frankly, too terrified to drink or eat. I was tired of puking and don't think I could have taken anymore. Finally, with my dad being so weak as well, and me starting to worry about Charlie, we decided to go to the ER to get re hydrated.

So to fastfoward, we spent the entire day in the ER and I ended up being transferred VIA FREAKIN AMBULANCE to a maternity hospital in Downtown Orlando because of some worries the ER doctor had. What seemed like an eternity and what I am sure will be a 10,000 dollar bill later, I came out with a good clean of health.

So that's that. I will try to post the pictures up from my very eventful Monday so that you all can relive what was me in all my miserable, hospital gown glory.

And don't fret, both Charlie, me, dad, John, Wolfram, Desiree and the Champ himself, Pete are fine. Thank god. Well, Pete will be fine, i am sure until he sees the hospital bill.

The Name Game

2008-10-23T19:10:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone, this is Pete!

I am making my blogging debut to let you all know that we have decided on a name! As my lovely wife has written, I have had a heck of a time deciding what to call our child... There is so much responsibility involved! This is one of the few things that will affect your child for the REST OF THEIR LIFE!

So, to give you a little history, I will take you on a journey of The Name Game over the past 7 months...

In the first few months, Marie was all about deciding a name for our child. She bought the "1 trillion baby names" book which I immediately hid away. I went along non-committal-like, but with enough interest to not get her mad at me. A few names were tossed about, but we were still kind of in shock about getting pregnant in the first place, so nothing was really talked about with any seriousness.

Sometime in August, Marie REALLY starts to get serious about naming our child, but I told her that I need to find out the gender before I even consider a name, because that immediately eliminates half of the choices! I was not about to waste my time thinking about a name that wasn't even going to work. So August 25th rolls around and we find out that it is a boy. The ironic thing is that by this time we had already mutually agreed on an acceptable girl name, so it was back to the drawing board for a boy's name.

I looked over the book and wrote a few names down and immediately knocked a few off the list. However, I was really struggling with this name thing! We determined that if we used one of our father's names we would have to use both, and could not just use one or the other, which would essentially mean that he would have two middle names (like me)!

Right before the sonogram that would determine his gender, we had some friends visiting and we were kidding around after watching a Carl Weathers movie and I said that if we had a boy, we would call him Tyrone "Action Jackson" Hackman. I liked it, and it had a nice ring to it. Funny enough, the Action Jackson moniker stuck and we started calling him AJ instead of Pinhead.

So we kind of liked it and decided that we would try names starting with A like Andrew or Alexander, with either Joseph Douglas or Pierce as the middle names. Joseph William is Marie's father's name, and Charles Douglas was my father's name. Pierce is actually a form of the name Peter. We had tried a few combinations, but nothing really sounded right.

We tried out Alex for a while and it just didn't fit. We tried out Andrew for a day and it worked better, but it still wasn't right. I was starting to get a little frustrated and felt like I was now starting back at square one!

Then, earlier this week, after a visit by some friends who have a 3 week old son named Charlie, it just kind of hit me... Despite the odd nicknames for Charles (as mentioned in a previous entry by Marie) I kind of liked the name! I mentioned this to Marie and she told me that oddly enough, she was kind of liking the name as well! She immediately took that as a sign that our son was going to be named Charles and that it was my choice for the middle name... Either Joseph or William. I thought it over for a bit and decided that I really did like the name!

So after much thought and discussion, we have decided that he will be named Charles Joseph after our both of our fathers... However, if you want to call him Charlie, Tyrone, Chuck, CJ, Action Jackson, Chip, Chaz, or even Bubba, that is fine with me too. Although, I have to say that Charles is not technically his name until we put it on the birth certificate! I may decide to change my mind, but I doubt it... It has been hard enough getting this far! So, I hereby declare that the Name Game is officially over! Yay!

Our baby pics.. Enjoy!

2008-10-22T10:28:00.000-07:00

It's not a democracy....

2008-10-22T10:13:00.000-07:00

For those of you following my blog, the latest in the Hackman household drama has been deciding a name for Pinhead. I think we have come to a name, but Pete, being the ever dramatic person he is, wants to wait until his absolute deadline to make it official. Personally, I can't wait to make it official. He wants to make sure 10000000% he is good with the name before making that final call. Unfortunately, I hate to break it to him, but this is not a democracy, its a VADGEOCRACY. Thanks right people. I work out the math as such: I get a 60% stake in the vote, he gets 40%. Therefore, by vadgeocracy rules, I win. Let's think about this. Who has to carry said baby in their belly for nine months???? HMMMM???? Who has to carry around ginormous boulders in a bra for nine months??? Whose hoo-haw is permanently going to be traumatized by squeezing out a watermelon out of a lemon sized hole??? Basically, who's knocked up and giving birth here? That's right, me!

So, by said definition and set expectations that are to be delivered, I get final say. He is in denial, and is continuing to think he still has a "choice" in the name. Poor Pete. I reached my point and it was broken the second he blurted "Thor" as a possible name for our child. Granted, he was kidding, but I suspected that his dedication and seriousness on the issue was clearly not on par with mine. We did try out two other names, but they did not feel right. He did agree that those names just didn't sound like our child and after a day or so of "test-driving" the name, we gave them up.

Needless to say, we do have to thank two very cool people for being so awesome. They know who they are and I do not want to write their names because that would give away Pinhead's final name. Regardless of what Pete' thinks, Pinhead's name has been chosen, and Pete will write on the blog Wednesday to make the huge "Reveal". Although, for a small bribe, I may be able to spill the beans. Hope you all are having a great day and remember, when your wife, girlfriend, significant person is knocked up.. Vadgeocracy rules.

Reaching my breaking point...

2008-10-18T07:41:00.000-07:00

Okey dokey people. At this very moment, I am sitting in bed with my soon to be dead husband who is STILL contemplating names. Yes, we are still playing the name game here at the Hackman Household. I am working on keeping a calm and happy disposition at this very moment, while my husband blurts out names like Sheldon, Mortimer, Vladimir and Waldo. Under normal circumstances, I would find this hilarious, but seeing as our kid will be born in 69 days, I would like to settle on his name ASAP. OH MY GOD. He just blurted out THOR as a freaking name. I am seriously going to kill him. Well, obviously not, but let's just say that he thinks its hysterical to find the funniest, most insane names and see what kind of reaction I will have.

You know what, for the next five minutes, I am going to write about what the holy hades he talks about in the morning. Yes, I want you to fully experience the Pete Hackman daily routine when in bed. (get your minds out of the gutter, people) At this very moment, he is whining about why his Frisky Dingo is not taping. For those of you who aren't aware of this show, and that should pretty much be ALL OF YOU, its the most insane, retarded show on the face of the planet. I am not going to even bother with giving you details, but Pete is of course, enamoured with the show. I just cringe when I see him watch it because I can count the brain cells dying as he watches.

Now he is playing with the stupid remote control trying to find this stupid Frisky Dingo show. I am praying that it is no longer on the stupid Adult Swim and has been gobbled up by the TV Gods of forgotten programming.

Pete still has the baby name book in his one hand, but do you think he is trying to find out a name for our kid???? NO. He is still obsessing about this freaking frisky dingo.

Still channel surfing, so no news to report or update you all on that front.

Now he is taking this valuable time to ensure that all the shows we like are getting taped on the DVR. AHHHHHH, good to know that his priorities are lined up.

Ok.. i think I need to eat. Normally he is the most awesome husband in the universe, but today, I think I am about to lose it. Please don't worry you all, he will be fine. As long as one of you calls him and lets him know that it may be in his best interest to find our kid a name soon.

Update, he just pondered the reason as to WHY NBC is sucking so bad in the ratings and why they have such stupid shows like Night Rider and Crusoe on the line up.

Ok, I am done. I need to eat and have to baby retail therapy. I love you all and please keep me and pinhead in your prayers. I really don't feel like going to jail because I have a dumb dumb for a husband.

Short but sweet..

2008-10-11T16:59:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't written in a while, but I have been super busy at work. I will post another amusing musing soon.. but probably not until AFTER Tuesday. Hope all is well! BTW, we got 3d/4D ultrasound done. IT's the coolest thing ever, and I will tell you this, it has calmed a lot of my fears. I will post those soon, promise.

It's a name, not rocket science!

2008-10-06T16:47:00.000-07:00

For those of you that have not noticed, I posted a new poll on the left hand side of my blog. Please do not think these are the final names, but they are SOME of our top choices. We had picked out a girl's name already, and that was quite simple. (We decided on Vivian Grace LOONGGG before that Angelina chick picked it up) A boys name I knew was going to be a challenge. Not because of me, mind you, but because Pete seems to hash our EVERY variation of a name to death. I AM NOT KIDDING. Let me recap for you.

One of the first names on my list was Charles William. I personally love the name Charles. I think Charlie is the cutest little boys nickname, and the two names pay homage to both grandfathers. I mentioned this name to my mom who also loved it. Good.. it passed that test. For the most part, people at work thought it was a good, strong name as well. Now, let's get to Pete. Ahhhh Pete. Many of you know him as sweet, easy going, go with the flow Pete. That is except when it comes to naming our child. This man has put more effort and thought into Pinhead's name than when we bought our house or we got married. I am serious. Do you know what he said when I said Charles William? He came up with FIVE nicknames for the name Charles and proceeded to say no to the name based on said bad nicknames. I sat there in SHOCK. People, when the hell was the last time you heard the name Chip or Chaz as a nickname for Charles??? Can you believe that? I think the boy dug back, WAY back, to even think of one of those names. We have some good friends that just named their little boy Charles and I think its precious. Do you think anyone would ever call this little boy Chip??? I don't think so. Charlie is about as far as people go nowadays. Unless of course you live in Yuppieland and need a membership to the local country club.

Pete has promised me that he will give me his final decisions on names by the time we leave for Florida. I swear, if he doesn't come up good with his promise, he will rue the day!! I don't think it's that hard. Granted, you don't want to give your child a craptastic name that will haunt him for the rest of his life, but give us some credit! Here is the best example of WTF for the week when it comes to a child's name.

A friend told me that they came across the following name: Ta-a. Now, how would you pronounce it? I was with a group of others and we went round and round about it. As a joke, i mentioned something about the dash and they said, well you are right. Get this, it is said TA-DASH-AH. Yes, these people were too freaking lazy to spell out dash and just put in the punctuation for it. DOES THIS PERSON HAVE FRIENDS??? Where the people at the hospital on a lunch break? I mean who names their kid that? I can understand our predicament if that's the kind of name I wanted, but there's no way it even comes close.

So there.. I just had to vent. I have noticed my temperament is starting to get a bit "crispy" as my aunt likes to say. I think it's just the fact that I still have 10 weeks left and I don't think I will make it much longer. Thanks for reading and make sure to vote. Maybe Pete will get the freaking hint!!

Holy SH$%! My uterus is on fire!

2008-10-04T17:18:00.000-07:00

Last night, I was in a peaceful slumber, when all of the sudden, I awoke to the most piercing pain in the world. Now, I had no idea what it was, except for the fact I had never experienced pain like this. It was sharp, and strong, like a hot knife cutting through my uterus. For those of you reading this, do not panic. I have done my homework and these are simply round ligament pains. I have had these for a while, but I guess pinhead is growing everyday. With this new added weight, my uterus is being stretched beyond its normal limits. It has dawned on me that this is only the beginning!!!!!

If these are just stupid ligament pains, what in the hell am I going to do when pinhead comes out of a hole meant for something smaller!!!???? Holy schnikes.. I try to look for some comfort on the pages of the internet baby sites, but in reality, they were much more unnerving. I kept reading about the Braxton Hicks Contractions and how they begin in the third trimester. Now here's my thing. If this is my first kid, and the websites keep saying you are just having "fake" contractions, how the heck do I even KNOW what a contraction feels like?? I mean really!!!!!!!!!! Other than menstrual cramps, there has been no real pain down by my gates of paradise. (in their defense, they were pretty intense cramps) And seriously, would someone just take a moment to write on these stupid websites what the heck these contractions feel like.??? They just mention something about timing them and how if they become more intense to go to the hospital. HELLO!!!! How about what they feel like.. there has to be some moms on retainer to explain what they feel like. Even something like "your vagina and uterus feel like its on fire" would be more help then what they write.

Anyway, all is well for now. I hope I don't panic anyone. Seriously, I just had to vent about how no one tells virgin pregnant women (he he I just think that's funny..) about what kind of aches, pains and spasms they are getting themselves into. I mean really.. I may just have to write a freaking book that doesn't mince words and tells pregger ladies exactly how it is.

Alrighty you all.. I am about to watch Ironman with Pete and Pinhead, who is now kicking my spleen. At least one of us is happy...

Football!

2008-09-28T07:56:00.000-07:00

Just because I am preggers does not mean that I can't still love Football. We are playing the Steelers tomorrow and I CAN"T WAIT! Actually, I think I scare Pete with how maniacal I get watching the game. I think I was the loudest, scariest, most emotionally violent person out at the Lebanon BW3s. Pete looked at me like What have you done with my happy, medicated wife?? Personally, I took advantage of the fact that I am pregnant and people can't punch me now. (Ask me about Kentucky Style one day.. seriously.. it happens people. Women do get punched in the face.)

We watched the Browns/Ravens game and it didn't start off too hot. I got worried about my boys and was screaming some obscenities out at the Browns. (no kids in the area.. I did stop once they came in, thank you. I am not completely non-maternal.. I am having a kid, you know!)
Needless to say, Pete shooshed me like 30 times, complained my clapping was TOO loud and that I was just too loud and vocal period. Whatever! We killed them 28-10. They can say something to me and I would actually welcome it. Like my friend Amy says, sometimes you just catch pregnant women at the right time hormonally and it's on! It probably would feel good... not that I condone violence at all, but man, some people just frustrate the heck out of you. (Like mentioning how big/not big you are, etc) Some physical letting loose might actually be good for the baby.

So we go up to BW3s tomorrow to watch the game. Actually, we kind of have to. Because we are so TV obsessed, our DVR is working over time on BOTH tv's and we can't switch channels. That's ok. I am going to proudly wear my Raven's jersey and DARE some Steelers fan to say something to me. Let them fear the wrath of the hormonal pregnant women. After proceeding to kick their ass, I would politely say excuse me as I move back to my seat. Hey.. I want to make sure our kid learns his manners!

Blame it on the baby!

2008-09-25T09:27:00.000-07:00

Ok. I am going to make a confession. Now, since this is cyberspace and all, I don't feel so stupid for writing it down as I would saying it out loud. Please be gentle when laughing and making fun of me in the future. It could be you or your eventually knocked up wife that does the retarded thing and then it will be my turn to be catty and bitchy to you.

Pete and I were upstairs on Tuesday, in our home office. Pete was at the computer paying Bills and I was laying on the futon watching tv. I think DWTS was on, and I was highly annoyed at Kim Kardassian for being alive, let alone dancing on tv. During this time, Pinhead was super active. I swear he must have been dancing up a storm in my uterus, because kid was going to town. Meanwhile, I kept mentioning to Pete "OH! He kicked again! Come here! You need to feel this!" As mentioned before, I like sharing these kind of moments with Pete so I don't feel so selfish. (which, if you think about it, is kind of selfish in itself.. hmmmm ponder that one people!)

Pete of course was not paying bills but was in fact looking up fantasy football things. (A lesson in futility if you ask me considering his DISMAL record) I kept bugging him to feel my stomach. At one point, Pinhead did an insane group of kicks that were pretty intense and amazing. Now people, brace yourselves for the stupidity that is about to occur. I am serious. Had someone told me this story I would have turned on my heel and RUN for fear of even remotely catching some of their stupidity. After feeling these intense kicks, I said hey Pete, come here and PROCEEDED TO POINT MY REMOTE CONTROL AT MY STOMACH AND TRIED TO REWIND PINHEADS ACTIONS. Yes, you read that right. I have been sucked into TIVO so much that I thought (even if it was a split second) I could rewind Pinheads kicks and Pete could feel them.

Of course, Pete saw me do this and stared at me. Then the cackling and laughing came. And it came hard. Even I had to laugh at the level of retardedness that I had just experienced. Who does that?? Who tried to rewind their kid in their belly so that the dad could feel the movements?? A pregnant woman, that's who.

So there, I just had to share that little anecdote with you. Pete will eventually blog on here about his perspective, and I am sure he will share his thoughts on that little doozy of a moment. Hope that made you laugh and feel smarter than me. (at least momentarily) I am back to smart Marie and vow never to do that again. Now walking into walls, that's a whole other story and blog for another time!
I

The HooHaw Dialogues

2008-09-23T10:49:00.000-07:00

It's amazing to me how much you can get away with when being pregnant. It reminds me of the episode on How I Met Your Mother when Barney was trying to get a drink and he kept getting denied and finally he mentioned the magic words ITS FOR THE BRIDE and voila! Instant drink in hand. Like a wedding, where it's the Bride's special special special day and she gets pretty much whatever she wants, I feel like being preggers is a get out of jail free card. Seriously, I don't know why I didn't think of this before. Getting pregnant has definitely had its upsides!

Example: The power outage in the Cincy area caused restaurants to have massive waits and lines. One night, Pete and I were in the seat yourself section of the restaurant and I was hungry, so clearly not in the best mood. I was trying as best as I could to be patient, but it just wasn't working. I mentioned to Pete sarcastically that I was a pregnant women and should not have to wait this long and LOW AND BEHOLD a person tells us they are about to get up and we can have their seats. Can you imagine?? I was KIDDING!! It's like Pregnancy is the Jedi Mind Trick that I never mastered. Obi Wan would be soo proud. The person looked at me like I might eat their young if I didn't get their seat with in 7.2 seconds. SERIOUSLY!! It made me wonder, are pregnant women that bad? Do we really spazz out and get emotional and EVIL when we don't get our way. I just want to thank all those evil bee-yotches before me for doing all the dirty work and now I reap all the benefits. I have been pretty good about playing the Preggers card, but man, its starting be worth it!

This also works wonderfully at work. Before, I used to have to wait in line like everyone else for food.. Now, it's "Marie, you are preggers, you get to go first..." OHHHH YEAH!!! I simply put my hand on my belly and people are all like "are you ok? is the baby ok??" I don't want these people to be scared, by any means, but it does make me feel pretty special. My friend Essie and I just had lunch and we got to the restaurant before the rest of the group. The proper and expected thing of course, would be to wait for those that have not arrived before eating. (this is a buffet place) NO FREAKING WAY!! I was hungry!!! Essie and I looked at each other and said.. blame it on the pregnancy for being rude. It worked! I must say, I was pretty ravenous, but I surely could have waited the five minutes for the rest of the group. It was a beautiful thing. They totally understood!!

Another thing.. you can talk about bodily functions and not so pleasant hoo-haw conversations with out shame or worry!! REALLY!!! It's amazing! For those of you that know me, you know that I have a very faulty brain to mouth filter. If I think it, out it comes. Luckily, I do have enough common sense not to talk unmentionables around those that don't know me so well. Lately, I just don't care. I figure, 75% of these women have pushed watermelons out of lemon holes and I need some answers. Under non-sperminated circumstances, they would have looked at me for being quite inappropriate, but now, I am part of the CLUB! That's right.. its like this special knocked up club that you are golden once you join. I have free access to many many things.

So for those of you considering the stork route, I will admit it has its perks. Now, you will be paying out the ying yang for 18 years for 9 months worth of freebies, but hey, take what you can get.

Baby Stroller Madness

2008-09-22T16:53:00.000-07:00

A few posts ago, I said I would include my rantings about baby strollers and the weird hierarchy that is associated with them. This all came about during our Dividend Day at King's Island a while back. King's Island was, of course, infested with young ones and the mechanical mediums that carry them about: strollers. I started noticing a pattern: the type of stroller the people had says LOADS about the people.

The last few weeks have been spent researching strollers. Yes, I am that pathetic. First and foremost, I want something that is safe for Pinhead. Contrary to popular belief, I do think you can blend style and substance. Frumpy and safe are no longer synonymous. In fact, there are a plethora of great choices out there. Unfortunately, you must spend the rest of your life paying for said fashionable stroller.

For our main stroller choice, we actually chose a hybrid, or as baby talk would call it a"Travel System" This is essentially a fancy schmancy term for freaking stroller plus infant car seat. They just want to dress up the language like you actually can travel easily with the pair. We did our due diligence on consumer reports, other blogs, magazines and found that the Chico Cortina Travel System included the number #1 rated infant car seat, the Chico Key Fit. This ultimately made the decision quite easy for us. Yes, the cute car seats are all nice and all, but safety is of the utmost importance. To make sure we made the right choice for the stroller part (yes, they are sold separately, but it's cheaper this way) we test drove it. (well, as much as you can test drive it in Babies R Us.) We were pleasantly surprised at how easy it was to assemble, fold up, and take off the cover seat for washings. It made me think how many soon to be clueless parents actually went through with this part, or did they simply choose it on fabric choice.

The one drawback of the Chico's is the lack of color choices, but we were ok with that. We figured it was the least of our worries. Besides, that fabric is eventually going to be covered with all sorts of god forsaken foreign material that I am far too ladylike to mention here. (hahahahha!) I have noticed that the parents who end up getting the Chico system do their homework, are pretty price conscious but concerned with style and substance. I don't see them around very much, and honestly, I attribute that to Chico's lack of color choices. Glad to see that parents first concern for the well being of their children is how good they look in the stroller.. I guess I would equate the Chicoo to a Volvo. Very safe, decent design, not cheap but not exactly a luxury item, practical, sturdy, smartly thought through and not an eye sore to look at.

Graco strollers are by far the most popular around. I see them everywhere!! I equate these to Hondas or Toyotas. The one plus about Graco's are the amount of choices in fabrics and looks. They are basic, good reliable systems that are fairly priced and available. I am neither offended nor impressed with the Gracos. Just like Toyotas or Honda's, I am glad they are there, but honestly couldn't be bothered with them.

Evenflo and Baby Trends are the Ford's, Chevy's and Kias. Nowhere near the luxury brands, but they offer cheaper lookalike versions of their more expensive cousins. Graco's sometime fall into this category, but just like Honda's and Toyota's , they offer starter versions of their strollers. (a la Yaris and Fit) Please do not think I am being a snob. Ok, I am a being a tiny bit, but it's evident by their quality and presentation that it's more about style than substance. I am sure that they are safe as well, but these are clearly the entry model versions.

Eddie Bauer strollers are the Jeeps or Subarus. Enough said.

Combi's and Peg Perego's are the Jaguars of strollers. Definitely in the luxury category, but not necessarily the best of the best. They seem to be more aspirational than anything else. Again, these don't bother me. I am just kind of blah about them.

Now we get into the Lexus's, Acura's and Infiniti's of the group. Many of you have already read about my lust for a Bugaboo. At 800 dollars, I don't think this is going to happen unless we get blessed by a stroller fairy godmother. I would say these are more the Lexus's. They are by far the best designed, engineered, customizable and easiest to use. Unfortuntately, they come with a hefty price tag, just like their car counterparts. Others that can be placed into this group are the Bumblerides (more Acura than anything), Stokke's (BMW), Joovy's (Mercedes) Baby Planets (Infiniti's) and Maclearens (Range Rovers). A lot of this is subjective, since car choices are a very personal thing. They say a lot about your personality and lifestyle.

Oh.. There is also a line called Mia Moda's that are priced at the Kia level, but function and look like an Acura/Infiniti level. These are quite modern in design and innovation, without the pricetag.

So there you have it. A very short (trust me, I could go on and on and on and on about these strollers) synopsis of which strollers coincide with their car cousins. There are many more strollers out there, and yes i have researched them, but I leave them out for now. So feel free to leave a comment or question about this post. Have fun.. and next time you are out look at the stroller parents are driving and see if they fit the "car" description I have made. Enjoy!!

They didn't tell me my boobs and back would hurt this much!

2008-09-17T17:09:00.001-07:00

Ugh.. so I have gone the last 26 weeks with out major issues. My first trimester was pretty easy, thank goodness. Yes, I had the occasional bout of nausea and queasiness, but nothing major. My second trimester has passed without major incident as well, unless of course you count bronchitis and power outages as incidents. Now we are in the final stretch and I have a feeling I am going to pay DEARLY for having had such a decent pregnancy.

Now don't get me wrong. I am not one of those women who is going to lie and say "Oh I loved being pregnant and its made me feel so beautiful or I feel so much more womanly". Puleeze. I seriously want to punch some of those women. They are so full of poopy diapers. Personally, I think they drink a little too much of the breeder kool aid. So far, I have described my pregnancy to my friends as being super constipated. Really.. that's what it has felt like. Until recently, AJ's kicks felt like gas or popcorn popping in my stomach.

Now, with only 14 weeks to go, I must say that I just want to meet my kid and get him out! I know I ( and my hoo-haw) will pay dearly once he is here, but it will be worth it. At least I hope so! My boobs are now H's. Yes, you read that right. H"S!!! My friend Roz is completely obsessed with them because of the sheer fact that they are real and even bigger than they were before. For those of you wondering, yes, I can find bra's in my size. Well, at one store. About 25 miles away. Needless to say, they hurt my back. ALOT. I can only imagine how much bigger they will get. Please start praying for me (and the kid) now. Seriously. I am actually afraid I am going to suffocate him with my huge knockers.

Pete is currently suffering from back pains as well, but he swears it's not sympathy pains. I personally think it's his ass that is bothering him, and I am the root of all of it. :-) So throw him in the prayer circle as well.

So there.. I just wanted to whine about my back and boobs hurting me right now. Be thankful its not you with these H's....

Yeah! We have power!!

2008-09-16T18:49:00.000-07:00

For those of you that do not live in the Ohio valley, we had a HUGE wind storm on Sunday that left the area with a ton of damage and lots of power outages! Thank god, nothing was damaged on our house, but we were without power since Sunday. That's right people.. SUNDAY. Now, do not get me wrong. I completely understand that on the grand scheme of things, it could have been far worse, but to a pregnant lady who LOVES her TV, this was torture.

My heart goes out to the people in Texas right now. I can only imagine how hard it must be to be with out the simple necessities like food, water, gas, AIR CONDITIONING! Can you try and go for a few days in sweltering 90 degree heat with out it? I would rather walk in crocs for the rest of my life than go with out A.C. (that is saying a lot people.. you all know how much I hate them.. but that's another blog)

On the positive, I did get some of the best sleep of my life the last few days. It does help that I have had to take some codeine laced medicine to help with my bronchitis, but that's besides the fact. I am going to try to continue the good sleeping habits that have come about because of the power outage. And you know what else.. showering in the dark is kind of fun.. well more like showering by flashlight. It is very soothing.. for those of you looking for a relaxing way to bathe, try it.. maybe that's why spas do all those candles and crap.

So anyway... I just wanted to let everyone know how happy I am to have my TV.. I mean, our electricity back. Thank you Jesus! I promise to blog about my stroller heir achy theory in the days to come... And of course, my utter hatred of crocs....Smooches!

My favorite channel on tv right now...

2008-09-12T12:42:00.001-07:00

For those of you that grew up in the 80's, Boomerang is a gift from God! Until the new seasons start on TV, there is very little that I get any real enjoyment from. Sure, there are the few exceptions like Eureka (what a great, under appreciated show!) and Wipeout. (of course we get pleasure watching these idiots try to take on ridiculous obstacles and nearly killing themselves in the process) But, until September 22nd, Boomerang is my channel of choice.

I haven't seen Richie Rich in ages!! I cringe when I see what is being passed off as "cartoons" on various channels. I mean seriously.. what are they thinking? And don't even get me started on that little HOrrific tartlet Miley Cyrus/Hanna Montana. Ugh. Whatever happened to simple cartoon premises, like finding the pound puppies hidden bone stash or Richie Riche's time travel escapade to Camelot? These days, there has to be some nuclear event, a transgendered endangered species, some global warming epidemic, fashion crisis and ever present product placement. Of the cartoons that are from today's generation, the only ones Pete and I like are Spongebob Squarepants and The Fairly Oddparents. (hands down, the best cartoon out there right now)

So I digress... Right now, the only thing that I want to watch are cartoons. I don't want to watch anything political, dramatic, scandalous, etc. It's not that I think its going to get passed down on to Pinhead, its just simply that I want to be entertained. That's all. I just want to be amused with simple and sweet animation.

It's a wonder that these children now a days grow up so fast. Even the cartoons offer very adult situations, giving these kids very little escapism. Pete has vowed our child will grow up loving Bugs Bunny, classic Disney & Pixar, Sesame Street and, of course, the Muppet's. Although he may be ridiculed for not being "with it" on the cartoons being offered, at least we can rest assured his brain is not being bombarded with stupidism.

So there.. I admit.. I am a total child of the 80's. All I need to make my day complete is watch some She-ra and break out my Rainbow Brite. Random blog topic, I know.. but you all secretly just agreed with me, didn't you?

Not feeling so hot, part 2.

2008-09-11T17:53:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone.. just wanted to let you all know that I am still feeling very sick. I have another doctor's appointment tomorrow at 1pm. I will update as soon as I know what the heck I have. In the meantime, please keep us (me and pinhead) in your thoughts, prayers and positiveness. It can never hurt to have too much of any of those! Love and hugs to all. (PS: its probably a chest cold/infection.. not some serious baby issue)

Project Runway

2008-09-10T18:37:00.000-07:00

Pete and I were watching Project Runway and I realized that they need to do a maternity competition! Have you seen some of the offerings that stores are passing off as "fashion" to pregnant women? Atrocious! I think there are some very very angry men who are designing for these women. There are some cute clothes but they are meant for women who were size 2's prior to being sperminated. I am pretty lucky so far to still be able to wear my pre-preggers clothes. I do have my fabric stretchy fabric panel pants, but they are still a bit big. I wonder why its so hard for designers to think about the big picture for pregnant women. First and foremost, we want comfort. Duh. But, as with anything, you can still be very stylish and comfortable. They can be synonymous people! Think DVF's wrap dress. A simple and easy piece that translates well on ANY figure. (Diane VonFurstenburg, FYI) Most of her dresses are in an easy jersey fabric that is non-wrinkling and super light to wear. You would think that it would be nearly impossible to ruin this style on pregnant women, but it can be done. I have walked into a certain maternity store and have seen HORRIBLE representations of this dress. The patterns.. the colors.. UGH. I don't know about other pregnant women, but dark, simple NEUTRAL colors are my best friend right now. The last thing I want is some heinous floral pattern with bright blue and green on it. YUCK. And these patterns aren't simply restricted to dresses, oh no. They want to take over the world , one horrible pattern at a time. And you know what's worse? I have seen women BUY them!! Yes! Egad! I mean, just because you are preggers does not mean you have to lose your sense of self or style. Like newly engaged women, it seems that once you get the big news, all sense of reason and logic goes out the window. (have you seen Bridezilla's? Oh. My. God. ) Pre-spremination, would you have bought that sparkly silver threaded mumu? Seriously? Just because you have another life in you does not mean you have to sacrifice your own. I want to scream at some of these women.. and slap their hands away from their wallets as they reach to pay the cashier. I think that along with Childbirth classes, they should offer classes in taste. And don't even get me started on nurseries.. we will save that for another blog. So yes. For those of you that are still without children, print this little blog out and save it. Then, when you are knocked up, take it out and paste it on your refrigerator. You and your sense of style will thank me for it!

Feel like poo...

2008-09-09T12:26:00.000-07:00

So for me, nothing is worse than being pregnant AND sick. This past Sunday, my allergies went berserk and from there, proceeded to become a yucky sinus infection. I woke up Monday feeling quite ill, but knew I had to go to work to finish up some items. I was able to manage an appointment and the doctor gave me some antibiotics. Last night, it manifested into a horrible chest cold PLUS the sinus infection, so here I am. Bored, feeling like crap and miserable. I figure I can at least write a little post of what's going on today. Let's see.. I couldn't sleep very well last night since I could barely breathe. When I finally fell asleep, it was about 4 am and I woke up at 11. There is no worse feeling in the world like having your chest feel like there is an oompa loompa sitting on top of it. Sometimes, I even sound like Darth Vader.. its kind of cool. Well, not really, but I am trying to find the positive in everything. Let's hope I feel better so I can return to work tomorrow. I am sure that I have 503 emails waiting for me. Yuck

On a super happy note, Pete finally felt Pinhead kick yesterday! I have been feeling very selfish lately, since I am the one interacting with the baby. Every time he would put his hand on my belly, AJ (another nickname.. so we have two, pinhead and AJ) would suddenly feel shy and not move for him. Well, low and behold, AJ finally kicked for Pete and he was able to feel it. Even feeling sick, it was pretty cool.

Ok.. thats it for now. I wanted to at least post something today. Sorry it's not funny or witty.. but at least you got something!

Registry Overstimulation!

2008-09-06T17:07:00.000-07:00

OK.. so one of the fun things about any big event (baby, wedding, etc.) is REGISTERING. I don't care what anyone says! Making a wish list of stuff you don't have to buy is super fun and liberating. At least, I think it is.

Now, don't get me wrong. It's not just fun for me. That zap gun thing is probably the highlight of any guys time registering. Actually, its the only thing that gets Pete to register with me. I will admit, it is a bit annoying having to delete the 438 extra items you don't need because he went a little carried away "zapping" the bar codes. He also has a blast zapping my butt and says it's worth nothing since it doesn't come up with a price. Seriously. This is what I have to deal with when registering. It is amusing though. The poses alone are worth the trip.

My qualms are.. how much is too much? Is it too expensive to put on the registry? Is it really necessary? I understand the concept of registering, but it's still hard not to get greedy or carried away. Yes, I really really REALLY want a Bugaboo stroller, but who in God's good name is gonna put an $800 stroller on their registry? Maybe celebrities, but certainly not us! (normal people that is!) I have been going over the registry almost daily right now. Adding, deleting, updating the quantities. It's exhausting. They should have professionals to do this sort of thing. That way, people can't snicker or be catty about you when looking it over. You can blame it on your "registry engineers".

And another thing.. how in the world is a pregnant woman not change her mind those last three months. Do you know that I have changed my mind at LEAST 7 times just on the pack and play. Yes.. the stupid pack and play! The first one was a Chicco.. but the reviews didn't look so hot. Then I went and consulted our Consumer Reports guide (GOD, what would we do without that???) and put on their best rated one. I ended up taking that one off because it was TOO ORANGE. Really. Orange. The next one was put on because it was a better price point. That quickly changed because I didn't like the fabric. Repeat this process at least three more times and there you go. I have, for now, settled on a pack and play, but am toying with the idea of yet again removing it due to it's higher price. Ugh. The stress.

I hope that people's opinion of us doesn't change after looking over our baby registry. (Shameless plug here.. its under Marie Hackman at babiesrus. Hey.. it's worth a try, right??) I feel a bit excessive with 140 items on the list. 75 of those I think are cd's and dvd's that Pete secretly put on when I lost him in the aisle. I found him mesmorized and posing. It wasn't pretty. Just remember.. one of these days it might be you with that zap gun. So be gentle!

Start Praying for this kid now

2008-09-06T09:27:00.000-07:00

Alrighty you guys.. I know this blog has been a LONG time coming, but I have been a wee bit busy with this whole pregnancy thing. For those of you who don't know me too well, my name is Marie Bonaccorse soon to be Hackman. Yes, I am married, but I am quite fond of my maiden name and thought I would never have to change it. The one stipulation Pete and I put on me was if we were to have a child, I would change it to Hackman so that we can be one happy family unit. We also said we were never going to have children (more on that one later) so I thought I was safe.

Well end of March, early April, the poo hit the fan! I had a dream I was pregnant and brushed it aside for about two weeks. Unfortunately, there was a nagging suspicion that I should at least check it out. Three pregnancy tests and a whole lot of HOLY SH**'s later, we confirmed the unimaginable! We were expecting.

I have always stated that children were cute and nice, but they were not for me. Somewhere in my family lineage, the maternal DNA had skipped over me, causing me to feel very little for the screams and whims of very whiny, bratty children. I had even less patience for the parental units of said whiny children. To give some perspective, one of my favorite movies EVER is Mommie Dearest. Yes, the no wire hangers ever movie. (and Yes, there are no WIRE hangers in my house. ANYWHERE) I think I first saw that movie when I was five. My mom must have had the Tv on for background noise, because had she known the mental reprecutions it would have on me, she would have shut it off at once. I remember watching that movie, insanely jealous of the beautiful clothes that Christina got from her mommie. I also, sadly enough, remember thinking that she deserved her very brutal beating for putting her gorgeous dresses on a wire hanger. Being the respectful, loving, WONDERFUL child I was, I knew I would never disobey my mother if it came to clothing and her wishes like that.

I digress.. well not really. Now you see what this poor kid is going to be dealing with. We just recently found out we are having a boy. I also had a dream about having a boy about 8 weeks in and in the dream I screamed bloody murder at the top of my lungs in distress upon learning the news in my ob/gyn's office. I don't think that was quite the reaction a doctor would want from a patient. I took this dream to heart, and knew deep down inside it was a boy. I have always wanted a girl to share clothes, fashion and my womanly ways with, but alas, it was not meant to be. On the bright side of having a boy.. I get to keep all my accessories and don't have to share funds for them with him. Thank god. My Manolo's are safe. For now.

Speaking of the dream thing.. why can't I dream that we won 30 billion dollars. Every other dream has come true so far... oh well.

Anyway, I have to get going. Our Maryland friends have always thought God had an ironic sense of humor with bestowing us with a child and have asked that I start posting my weird musings on the Internet. They have also said they would start a prayer circle now for the poor child. Let's hope it works. He's gonna need all the help he can get!